05 May You Need To Hear This
Feb 6, 2015
|Originally Posted on Feb. 6, 2014
Happy Love and Chocolate Month!
There’s something I want to tell you right off the bat.
Seriously, you are!
Unless you’re doing things like this…
And whether you have kids or not, you are a good wife, daughter, sister, human being.
It’s true, (unless you’re doing the above to your kitty, then you may need some help).
I’m telling you this because I don’t think any of us hear it enough. I mean really hear it – know it to be true deep, deep down, without any self doubt. Me included.
My family and I spent the holidays in Colorado this year. One of the things I was most excited about (besides the 3-story log cabin, dream house we stayed in) was getting to hang with my soon-to-be, daughter-in-law Erin. She and my stepson live in Virginia so we just don’t get to see them often.
One night Erin and I were sitting by the fire, wrapped up in cozy blankets, talking about kids. We got on the subject of my Monkey Boy. Erin said to me, “You can see how close the two of you are. I like how you interact with him. You’re really doing a great job.”
My reaction? “Well, I’m not always as patient as I should be, I yell sometimes and…….”
You get the drift. I couldn’t take the compliment.
Why the fuck not?!
I guess some remnants of the past remain. The frazzled new mom who felt so insecure because her baby was sick and wouldn’t latch on no matter what was tried. My dreams of breastfeeding all over NYC never came true. The baby magazines, websites and mommy groups just made me feel more inadequate. I began to question everything I was doing with my son. Yup, you heard this before, my cluttered brain lead to me getting sick.
But guess what? All the magazines, websites and moms, who told me that I’d never bond deeply with my son because I didn’t breastfeed were wrong. We have a beautiful, close relationship that I treasure.
I don’t want you to go through what I went through
So, in honor of this, the month of love, I want to acknowledge you.
You are doing a great job! We are doing a great job! Are we perfect? Hell no! That would be boring. We’re loving, capable and doing what we feel is best. We learn from our mistakes, we grow, we change.
Remember this the next time you feel like you’ve had a big Mommy fail.
Remember this the next time a self-help book, website or another person makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
Remember this when your mind replays all the things that you think you did wrong in a day.
And remind someone you love that they are good, too. They need to hear it.